Pat EnisNation’s Pole Watchers Seek New HobbiesUNITED STATES — Pole watching enthusiasts from around the country find themselves at the center of the nation’s politics. Over the past…2 min read·Nov 19, 2020----
Pat EnisStudy: Majority of Trump Supporters Suffer from Irony DeficiencyWASHINGTON — Researchers at the Brookings Institute have published the results of a landmark 4-year study on the effects of political…2 min read·Nov 10, 2020----
Pat EnisLocal Trump Supporter Calls for Unity between Republicans and Lying, Cheating DemocratsBATON ROUGE, LA — Local Trump supporter, conspiracy enthusiast, and racist uncle Jim Baker took to Facebook this morning to express his…2 min read·Nov 9, 2020----
Pat EnisNervous COVID Refreshes Election Results to See If It Needs to Leave USEVERYWHERE — An anxious COVID-19 sat huddled in front of its computer this morning obsessively refreshing its newsfeed for updated…·2 min read·Nov 4, 2020----
Pat EnisLouisiana AG Jeff Landry Denounces Hurricane Warnings as ‘Bad for Business’BATON ROUGE — Louisiana Attorney General Jeff Landry stood outside the Louisiana State Capitol today as winds from the incoming Hurricane…2 min read·Oct 28, 2020----
Pat EnisMitch McConnell Announces Retirement, Plans to Find Remaining HorcruxesWASHINGTON — U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell spoke with reporters on Capitol Hill today, where he announced his plans to…2 min read·Oct 26, 2020----
Pat EnisGiuliani Copies File Labeled “Definitely Not Porn” from Hunter Biden Laptop to Personal ServerNEW YORK — Former New York City mayor and personal lawyer for President Trump, Rudy Giuliani, reportedly made copies of files from Hunter…2 min read·Oct 22, 2020----
Pat EnisMayor Cantrell Says Anyone Caught without a Mask outside of Bourbon Street Will Be ‘Shot on Sight’NEW ORLEANS — Mayor Latoya Cantrell held a press conference outside of city hall today to announce new changes to the city’s coronavirus…2 min read·Oct 18, 2020----
Pat EnisUFC Fighter Jorge Masvidal Starts New Position as President Trump’s Driver, Errand BoyMIAMI — Controversial UFC fighter Jorge Masvidal greeted President Trump outside of Air Force One as the president arrived in Miami for…·2 min read·Oct 16, 2020----
Pat EnisNation’s Scene Kids Mistake ACB Confirmation Hearings for “As Cities Burn” ReunionWASHINGTON — Nielsen ratings registered a minor uptick in viewership among the 18–49 age range on the first day of the Senate Judiciary…2 min read·Oct 15, 2020----